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Friday, March 17, 2006

The assault on St. Patrick's Day

It must be stopped! The true meaning of St. Patrick's Day is being lost and taken over by those religion hating pigs that have turned the feast of a great man who worked so hard to spread Christianity throughout Ireland and turned it into a drunken orgy.

It is has gotten so out of control that the Church itself has been infected. How so, well now during this the most holy of holy times, it seems that some bishops in some diocese (thank goodness for the old hardliners that haven't fallen into this trap), have decided to offer special dispensation to allow meat to be eaten on this Friday. As you know we are in the Lenten season, and this is a season of sacrifice. Meat must not be eaten on Fridays! St. Patrick was a very religious man, and to foresake the demands of god in order to indulge in raucous drinking and gourging themselves on {{gasp}} Corned Beef.

Fortunately it is contained to only some of the nearly 200 dioceses in this country (For example, Archbishop Timothy Dolan of Milwaukee has granted such dispensation, but Bishop R. Walker Nickless of Sioux City, Iowa has not.) It can spread however as the confusion spreads, you see if the bishop in YOUR diocese gives special dispensation, if you travel to an area that has NOT given dispensation, you can still eat meat according to the article, but if you are in an area that has not provided it, and you travel to someplace that does, you can NOT eat meat.

It is clear to me and Pat Robertson, that this is clearly satantic influences on our country brought on by Homosexuals and Woman's Rights. This is clearly obvious by the number of woman that participate in this, "It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians."1 I will have to wait until tonight to watch THE O'REILLY FACTOR to be sure, but I feel quite confident that Bill O' Reilly finds some way to blame MSNBC's Keith Olberman for this.

We must stop this assault on St. Patrick's Day and reign in this holy day which just happens to fall during the holiest of holy type days during the holiest of holy seasons, prior to holiest of holidays. So put down that beer, shun the Corned Beef, give the money you would have spent on those items to Pat Robertson so he can afford a hitman to assasinate Venezualean Leader Hugo Chavez 2 as well as spread God's message. Otherwise people (like Arial Sharon) will continue to not fully understand God's word and will have to smote them. Instead read a bible, convert a sinner to the word of God, as St. Patrick himself would have done. 3

1. Pat Robertson, fundraising letter, 1992

2. "Is it right to call for assassination? No, and I apologize for that statement. I spoke in frustration that we should accommodate the man who thinks the U.S. is out to kill him." –Pat Robertson

3. If it wasn't clear before now, I am probably going straight to hell.

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